Cartoons & Jokes

 

From our friend Anne:

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying:

HELP WANTED
Must be a good typist and be good with a computer.
Successful applicant must be bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

A short time later a Weimaraner trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.  He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, whined and pawed the air. The receptionist called the office manager. He was surprised, to say the least to see a canine applicant.  However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager expectantly.  The manager said, "I can't hire you.  The sign says you must be a good typist.  The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to quickly type a perfect business letter.  He took out the page and trotted over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but told the dog, "That was fantastic, but I'm sorry.  The sign clearly says that whoever I hire has to be good with a computer."  The dog jumped down again, went to the computer and proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs, produced a sample spreadsheet and database, then presented them to the manager.

The manager was dumbfounded!  He said to the dog, "Hey, I realize that you are a very intelligent applicant and have fantastic talent, but you're a dog. There is no way could I hire you! "  The dog jumped down and went to the sign in the window and pointed his paw at the words, "Equal Opportunity Employer."

The exasperated manager said, "Yes, I know what the sign says.  But the sign also says you have to be bilingual."  The dog looked him straight in the eye and said,

'MEOW!'

 

From the Weim Quilt list!

It was a slow day in Heaven.
  
"I am certainly bored," stated John.

"Me too," Paul chimed in.

Peter stood and watched the dogs.  "I know!" Peter began.  "Why don't we have a dog show?"

Paul and John thought that the idea was great, except for one small detail that Paul pointed out.  "Who are we to compete against, Peter?"  

The trio pondered a moment when Peter realized the answer.  "We will call up Satan and invite him to the dog show.  All of the finest dogs here in heaven.  All of the National Specialty, all breed Best In Show, & High In Trial winners are here. His kennel is riddled with the spoiled, difficult and mean dogs. We are certain to win at the show!"
  
And so the Saints phoned Satan on the other realm communication lines and invited him to their dog show.

Satan laughed and asked why they would want to be humiliated like that, because he would certainly beat them.

Peter, Paul and John did not understand.  "What do you mean Satan?" Peter asked.  "We have all of the National Specialty, All Breed Best In Show, and High In Trial winners in our kennel in heaven.  How could you possibly beat us?"

Satan paused a moment and then laughed.  "Have you forgotten so soon gentlemen?....................I have all the judges!"

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